This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
