im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
