bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
