so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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