would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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