My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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