She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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