He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
