After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
