you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
