Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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