Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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