talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
