Grow some girl-balls and come out already
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
