Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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