There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
