Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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