Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just tell him i said nine months
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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