I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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