Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
