it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
