Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
