would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
