C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
