There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
