Welp...herpes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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