What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
