sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
