i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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