There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize