she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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