Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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