So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
