A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize