thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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