Got a toothbrush?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
