Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Then you guys just all showered together...?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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