i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize