So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
