I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
