Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
