Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
