you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
