I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
