im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
