I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
