Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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