Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
