Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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