This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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