We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
