i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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