i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
