I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
