ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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