Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We need to get me chipped asap
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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