I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
where am i from again
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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