if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
