did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
