I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
