Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
