We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
