my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
