You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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