As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Screwed.edu
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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